Has it really been that long?

I just realized how long it has been since I last posted something here. I feel bad that I neglected my blog this long. Well, it is time that I rectified that!

So many things have happened. Some good some bad but many. I will highlight a few of those things.

First off, the weight loss has slowed as I have increased my training for the half marathon. MRC placed me on a new diet and I hope to see some good numbers this week at weigh in. I now eat 6 times a day to keep my metabolism going. I am kick boxing twice a week, yoga once a week, and riding my recumbent bike (since it is too cold to walk or bike outside) 4 times a week. I am averaging about 390 minutes of scheduled activity per week. I cannot wait until the weather is nice and I can put in some long hikes on the weekends.

Second thing, my mom was in the hospital mid-January. Well, actually it goes more like this: my sister texts me at work asking if I had talked to mom recently, I say not in a week or so, she says she has been trying to get in touch with her for a couple days but gets no answer, we start making calls to family and neighbors. Maybe this is where I should add that mom is 72 with a pacemaker and lives on the family farm with the closest town about 10 miles away. Okay, back to the story. It had snowed overnight, a neighbor drives over to check, car is not there and no new tracks, I decide to call the small county hospital, SHE IS THERE. And has been for TWO DAYS! Did she call anyone to tell them - no!!! My sister and I went the next day and picked her up and brought her back to Lincoln. I will be taking her back home this weekend.

That is it for now. I will try to be better on the posting. Be prepared for being overloaded as training continues.

So Far So Good

I have been doing well so far this year. I have been able to focus on me. It is a totally new concept. Me? Putting myself before others? What? I am enjoying myself. Imagine that!

Some friends at work have challenged me to join then in walking half the Lincoln Marathon. I initially thought there was no way I could be ready for that by May 1st. But the more I think about it, the more I feel that this is something I need to do. The symbolism I can apply to a seemingly unattainable feat (at least to me) and overcoming it...HUGE!! It is like the path I am on now. Last year, I decided enough was enough and began a weight loss program at Metabolic Research Center. I debated on whether or not to tackle the effects on my life from the abuse. In July, I started that journey. Neither of these will be tasks that I can complete. They are life long journeys. But this marathon is something that I can complete. It is something that I can check off my list. I really need that right now.

2011 - Reflections and Resolutions

2011. Can you believe it? I certainly am shocked of where I am today as compared to where I was on this date one year ago. As of 12/30, I have lost 70.5lbs this year. Much of my success can be attributed to a great structured weight loss program, Metabolic Research Center, and to my therapist, Bridget, whom has helped me to deal with my problems instead of internalizing them.

Now for some resolutions:
1) To not live to work but to work to live.
I have used my work to hide from things since 2005. It is time for me to quit hiding. Unfortunately, my employers have come to expect my 'dedication'. It is time to bend those expectations and decrease the amount of extra time I spend devoted to work.
2) To finish my weight loss journey and dedicate that energy into maintaining the loss.
3) To continue to allow myself to feel emotions instead of hiding from them.
I am venturing into a whole new world with this. I imagine that with it will come great joy but also great pain. I finally feel that I am ready to increase my range of emotional intensity. Thirty-six years ago, I shut myself down from feeling. In July 2010, I started opening that back up. It has been a roller coaster but I think I am getting there. I will need to watch for and control the urge to close up again.
4) Now for the fun one: I want one day that I will make into 'Sandy's Musical'. A co-worker and I are continuously playing of each other's conversations and breaking into song or doing little dances. It is time to expand that into a full day. Who knows, next year I may resolve for more days of the same. :)

Happy New Year to all!! I hope it is a year of happiness, great surprises, and overwhelming love.

2010 - It is almost over

I don't like being this way but I am just ready for this year to close. I am wiping the slate clean and 2011 is the start of a new outlook on life.

I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day quietly at home. Plans to pick up y mother did not work out because of icy conditions. I baked and watched movies. It was a nice relaxing couple of days.

Sunday was Christmas get together with family at my niece's house. It was good to see everyone plus I was able to get my pinochle fix.

So that is about it for Christmas. And in a couple of days, we can say good-bye to 2010. Thank you and good to see you go.

What did I do? Let me tell you

After almost a year of laying low, I have been attempting to do a few things that I love each week. This last week I actually put out a few decorations. I hope this will help me be less of a Scrooge. I have been baking. I made my first traditional German Stollen a couple of weeks ago. I gave one of the loaves to my sister and brother-in -law. They said it was the best they've ever had so I gave them the other loaf too. This last weekend I made another couple of loaves but this time I modified the recipe to include a marzipan center. We will see how this one turns out. I also just got done tonight making peppermint chocolate chip mini cheesecakes. Too bad I won't be eating any of this stuff.

Now on to the good news. As of this last Friday, I have lost 70lbs. I really am proud of myself. I hope to lose a couple more this week and finish up the year with 75. Crossing my fingers.

I have been learning to laugh at myself. Last night I needed to run to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things. I had on my fun socks in the photo and did not want to dirty another pair just for a quick trip so I put on my Mary Janes and headed out the door. If you got 'em, flaunt 'em!

Christmas Spirit - I need some

I have tried repeatedly to get into the Christmas spirit this year but it just seems to not be happening. And here is where you can start playing the music for my pity party. I think everyone has the wish to spend that special Christmas with someone they are in love with. Well, that isn't happening this year nor has it ever happened in the past. I have been through a lot this year and have a better outlook on life than I think I ever have. Still when Christmas comes around I start looking at what I don't have instead of what I do. Why is it that many of us do this? If you have the answer, please let me know. Stop music here - the pity party is over.

As mentioned above, I am in a really good place right now and look forward to what this next year will bring. I have exorcised a lot of demons from my past over the last 6 months. Though there are many more to deal with, the weight of those few gone has uplifting. When they say life gets better as you get older I think they are telling the truth.

The photo above was taken at a Flickr walk on December 5th. What a great day that was! Good friends = good times.

Yoga - Ouch!

Last night I decided that I had rested long enough after my surgery and popped the yoga dvd into the player. Previously I could do the warm-up, yoga 1, yoga 2, and cool down with no problem. Well, no longer. I made it through the warm-up and was 10 minutes into yoga 1 when I must have moved wrong. I had sharp, knife-like pains in my abdomen. Yowzers did it hurt! Luckily, there has not been any bleeding. So taking it slow for a coupe of days and then will ease into it.

What has spurred me to start the exercise up again so soon? Well, besides the fact that I miss it, it all has to do with my weigh in last Friday. They did a full scan and we found that my fat free mass had reduce from 152.5 mid-June to 129.5 in late October. Though FFM is comprised of the nonfat components of the human body, e.g. skeletal muscle, bone and water, it does mean that I have lost some muscle. Not good. So my goal is to get my FFM back up to 150 by the end of my contract (4/1/10). Here we go!!