So Far So Good

I have been doing well so far this year. I have been able to focus on me. It is a totally new concept. Me? Putting myself before others? What? I am enjoying myself. Imagine that!

Some friends at work have challenged me to join then in walking half the Lincoln Marathon. I initially thought there was no way I could be ready for that by May 1st. But the more I think about it, the more I feel that this is something I need to do. The symbolism I can apply to a seemingly unattainable feat (at least to me) and overcoming it...HUGE!! It is like the path I am on now. Last year, I decided enough was enough and began a weight loss program at Metabolic Research Center. I debated on whether or not to tackle the effects on my life from the abuse. In July, I started that journey. Neither of these will be tasks that I can complete. They are life long journeys. But this marathon is something that I can complete. It is something that I can check off my list. I really need that right now.

2011 - Reflections and Resolutions

2011. Can you believe it? I certainly am shocked of where I am today as compared to where I was on this date one year ago. As of 12/30, I have lost 70.5lbs this year. Much of my success can be attributed to a great structured weight loss program, Metabolic Research Center, and to my therapist, Bridget, whom has helped me to deal with my problems instead of internalizing them.

Now for some resolutions:
1) To not live to work but to work to live.
I have used my work to hide from things since 2005. It is time for me to quit hiding. Unfortunately, my employers have come to expect my 'dedication'. It is time to bend those expectations and decrease the amount of extra time I spend devoted to work.
2) To finish my weight loss journey and dedicate that energy into maintaining the loss.
3) To continue to allow myself to feel emotions instead of hiding from them.
I am venturing into a whole new world with this. I imagine that with it will come great joy but also great pain. I finally feel that I am ready to increase my range of emotional intensity. Thirty-six years ago, I shut myself down from feeling. In July 2010, I started opening that back up. It has been a roller coaster but I think I am getting there. I will need to watch for and control the urge to close up again.
4) Now for the fun one: I want one day that I will make into 'Sandy's Musical'. A co-worker and I are continuously playing of each other's conversations and breaking into song or doing little dances. It is time to expand that into a full day. Who knows, next year I may resolve for more days of the same. :)

Happy New Year to all!! I hope it is a year of happiness, great surprises, and overwhelming love.